Monday, February 15, 2010

Elderly Day At The Local K.


Once upon a time I decided to go to the local Kroger on a Wednesday morning at 9:00 to buy some quick groceries, and avoid the potential afternoon crowds. Upon arriving, I had all intentions to be there for 5 minutes or less. I knew exactly what I wanted, so I grabbed a cart, and darted towards the produce section. After acquiring my necessary produce, I proceeded to go down aisle 8 to pick up another necessary product. As I slowly turned the corner, I looked up and saw a traffic jam.
Aahhh! Get out of my way people, I have things to buy and a job to attend, I thought.
Nobody would get out of my way.
"Should I get the Ragu pasta sauce, or the Kroger pasta sauce? One has more ingredients, and the other is less expensive. I wonder what I should do?" questioned the elderly woman.
"Umm... you could get out of my way!" I wanted to say. I would have never said that to her.
"Hmm... I just don't know what I should do, let me think about it some more."
As she was contemplating what to buy, I turned my cart around to exit out the way I entered, when I was greeted by another elderly woman.
"Oh, excuse me ma'am." I said politely.
Nothing.
"Excuse me ma'am." Once again.
Still Nothing.
"Ma'am? Pardon me."
Not a budge.
So I sat there, waiting.
I was blocked, I had no where to go.
Finally, the gates opened up, and I was free to go down the next aisle. When I turned the corner, lo and behold, I am blocked by 3 more elderly people.
"Well hello Clarice." Said one elderly woman.
"Hi there Gertrude. The weather sure looks bad outside, huh?"
"Oh my, I hear tomorrow we will have a winter weather storm."
"Well by golly, that would be a hoot, wouldn't it?"
Laughter occurs, and more chit chat happens.
I thought, "Can I get out of here? I just have one more item to buy!"
So I waited some more, and finally had an opportunity to leave that aisle. Eventually I was able to obtain all necessary items and head for the checkout. As I walk towards the checkout lane, another elderly woman turns the corner and cuts me off. I decide to go around her because she is walking incredibly slow. As I move my cart towards the left, she decides to head that direction. I am behind her again. 1 mile per hour. I veer right, an elderly man appears from no where. I am stuck yet again. There is no hope. I can't escape these people. After a minute of walking towards the checkout lane, the man takes an exit down another lane.
FINALLY, I can get to the check out lane and buy my groceries and head to work! I look up and notice there are only two lanes open. Normally on a Wednesday morning that would be fine. But not this Wednesday, oh no, this Wednesday each lane had about four elderly people.
Four elderly people with grocery carts completely full to the top!
Of course.
Do I head to the self checkout?
Nope.
Why not?
I hate the self checkout, and refuse to use it if I have more than 5 items to buy.
Lazy?
Think what you will.
I finally arrive to check out.
I buy my groceries.
The time is 9:50 am.


The end.